Recession “Cocooners” Can’t Afford Fat Kids

(MP) - Adrian and Judy Parcheezie don’t go out of their home much anymore. Once a staple in their lifestyle, they’ve now given up their outings to boutique restaurants, independent foreign films, weekend driving excursions, and the idea of parenthood.

“Times are tough,” explains Judy, “we’ve buckled down, eat home a lot, don’t see much of our friends anymore. We’re really utilizing and building up our Netflix queue, not drinking so much bottled water, and having much more sex.” After a synchronized giggle, Adrian then added, “yea, and with a rubber too! Can’t afford to have a fat kid these days…READ MORE

Unemployed Ugly People “Tune-Up” For Recession Job Hunt

With the unemployment rate averaging 8% for the tri-state area, and the economy still not seeing it’s bottom yet - the job hunt is on. But, with so many urban professionals all vying for the same competitive jobs, people are beginning to rely on more than just their resume and experience. It’s no surprise that studies show that tall, good-looking people do better in life and in love, so the latest philosophy in the ugly community (and you know who you are) seems to be, “a nip – here, and a tuck – there, is going to give me an edge in this flooded market…READ MORE